My Chaos… God’s Kingdom

Has something every happened to you that left you feeling a little broken? I’m sure we all have at one point in time or another. The last 7ish days has left me feeling broken and empty. You see I have been told that I have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. This is something that has been lightly tossed around for years, and I knew was more than likely the issue. However with out it being confirmed I had hope that it could be something else. So with this confirmation has come a wave of emotions.

The top emotion being disappointment and broken. I know that God has a plan for my life including PCOS so now that I have acknowledged my emotions it is time to give them to God. I reached out to a woman that inspires me with her podcast and she reminded me that though I may feel this way I am most certainly am not. In Genesis 17 Sarah was barren until she was in her 90’s when she gave birth to Isaac. In fact in Genesis 16:2 Sarah (then known as Sarai) told Abraham (then called Abram) to lay with her servant Hagar so that maybe she could build a family through her. Abraham did and Ishmael was born from this relationship. Now don’t go thinking that this is what I will do. However it reminded me that even though we may get desperate we should never stop believing in miracles. In Luke 1 Elizabeth also conceived in her old age and gave birth to John the Baptist, whom was great in God’s sight. Both women gave birth to some of the most influential men in the Bible. I won’t give up on the miracles God can work. Instead I will pray fervently and be obedient to what God instructs me to do. Sometimes it may be uncomfortable (like starting a blog where you tell a story that you don’t want to tell), hard, or even may feel like you are unqualified.

However I was reminded today that Moses had a stuttering problem and Elijah had depression. Yet God used them for the good of His Kingdom. No matter how broken we think we are God thinks we are perfect for the mission he calls us to. God does not call the equipped, He equips the called.

I know how blessed we have been by our 4 children (each of them “mine” even though I only gave life to 1). I am so thankful for how God has blessed our lives through them. I will never discount the blessings we have been given. I love each of them more than they could ever fathom!

No matter what happens now, I will keep my eyes on God.

Much Love

Music found on youtube. Thank you youtube for having the perfect song to use for this post.