I haven’t been very honest with myself. I have been struggling more than I ever could have imagined. I didn’t even let myself say all of my struggles. Women’s Encounter is only a few short weeks away, I will tell more about this later, and spiritual warfare is alive and well. Satan has hit me in so many ways, the biggest one is my time. I have been praying, working really hard to keep my mind in the good of all things, but I haven’t spent my time with God in His word.
But Stacie, what does this have to do with your struggling?
Well lets start with that by not brining all of my struggles to the surface allows them to stay in the dark. While most may think this isn’t an issue I know that it is, especially for me. If it stays in the dark then I don’t have to “admit” there is sin. I also can’t receive support from anyone including my Lord and Savior!
1 John 1:5-10
Light and Darkness, Sin and Forgiveness
5 This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6 If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin.
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
You see as I struggle quietly and don’t even admit it to myself I am agreeing with the lies satan is filling my head with. With out spending my time with God I am not using the full Armor of God. To be specific I am ignoring the belt of truth, and my feet are not adorned with the readiness of the Gospel (Full Armor found in Ephesians 6). My fear, worry, anxiety, and want for control are lies that I need to break ties with. I need to give to hand them to God (God can’t just pluck those things from me), or lay them at the foot of the cross if you will. By giving them to God and asking him what he will give me allows me to accept his truths. In dealing with all of the storms that have been brewing I didn’t want to admit that I couldn’t handle it on my own. Y’all I was trying to do it on my own, I was trying to lean on my Heavenly Father, but I was failing. I was exhausted and not getting up which started my day in a big hurry causing me to leave God out of the start of my day. So yesterday I gave up the lies.
So instead of fear I have Trust. trust that God keeps his promises to his children. Instead of needing to control everything (including my struggling) God gave me Peace. Peace that in my hands nothing is ever going to go right, but in God’s hands it will be more than I could ever have imagined. Instead of worry and anxiety I was given Hope. Hope that because God keeps his promises everything will be just as God intends for it to be.
Don’t be afraid to bring your “not ok’s” into the light, you don’t have to pretend! Darkness can not be where light is shed! So as I go to leave you today I want you to know that you are loved! Loved more than you could ever imagine!
Much Love!
My Chaos… God’s Kingdom 
Leave a comment