My Chaos… God’s Kingdom

I ended part 1 by telling you that my Husband’s and I’s habits did not/ do not allow for much talking about things. I like to say that we do not have too many conversations that go deeper than the weather. Often this statement is true, we don’t tend to have deep conversations about dreams, life, issues, or even our Father (God) in our home. We will come back to that later, for now let’s see how this has led to feeling like an island.

Well the truth is that because our habits don’t allow for conversations it is hard to work through our disagreements/conflicts. Things compound, problems that should have been easy to talk through just keep building up. Let’s be honest Derek and I have known of Christ for years upon years. However KNOWING Christ is a whole other story, it has taken us almost 5 years to have gotten to where we are. We still struggle, sometimes daily, with our walk and doing what Christ calls us to do.

I made comment above that we don’t talk about anything deeper than the weather. So why is this an issue? Well God desires for a man and wife to become one, so I ask one question. Can we be one if we don’t talk about the future? Not just tomorrow and what is going on on the calendar, but our hopes, dreams, prayers, what God is leading us to. While Derek’s walk with Christ is different from mine that doesn’t mean that we have to keep them separate in every way. What we have been doing has caused disagreements, arguments, and emptiness.

These issues have left our marriage with something to desire. Ok in all honesty it has left our marriage with A LOT to desire. However as I was praying with what to do next God gave me Isaiah 49. The verses 8-26 talk about the restoration of Israel. The basic breakdown (I really encourage you to read the whole thing from the Bible) is that God will help them, that they will continue to grow and that God will, yep God will free them from their captors. While I was reading this passage Isaiah 49:13 really jumped out at me, it reads “Shout for joy, you heavens; rejoice, you earth; burst into song, you mountains! For the Lord comforts his people and will have compassion on his afflicted ones.” My marriage is/was afflicted, my heart towards my marriage is/has been afflicted. But God is bigger, so so much bigger, than Derek, or myself, or even the crap going on in our marriage. If God can restore an ENTIRE nation, then surely he can restore our marriage. So now after almost 5 years of marriage we dive in again to restore our marriage to what God wants it to be, not what society, or expectations (the “silent” killers) say it should be.

If you are experiencing similar situations please know that you are not alone! I share our story only to help others find hope! So keep praying, keep seeking God and listening to him! He will give you HIS restoration in HIS time! He won’t leave you!

Much Love