My Chaos… God’s Kingdom

So something Derek and I have not talked about much in the public forum is our pregnancy journey. We have been keeping it to ourselves, family, and close friends for the most part. Talk about chaos. I started this blog with one vision in mind. Well as God often does he has changed it from my plans to his.

If you are human like me you don’t always like what God tells you to do because it’s uncomfortable. Some of us are quick to do it anyway and some of us drag our feet. Well for this one I have been dragging my feet. It is super uncomfortable, it is so personal, and honestly hard to face considering I know nutrition and wellness from teaching it. I am now 34 weeks pregnant (we are getting so excited for Little Sis’ arrival) 4ish weeks ago I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes Mellitus (GDM), if you don’t know what this is, because of the hormones that the placenta is sending out I have diabetes until She gets here. With GDM being caused by the hormones of the placenta I little control over my blood sugar. I know that sounds very weird and the opposite of what most people hear about diabetes. When I tell you I have been busting my rear end to keep my numbers down, I mean I have completely changed my diet. I have only had candy 2 times and it has spiked my blood sugar so much that I haven’t touched it since. I use whipping cream and sugar free syrups for my coffee. I eat a lot of protein and veggies, and was walking 3 miles 2 times a week and smaller walks in between to keep me on track.

In the last 2 weeks however I have been put on Metformin and had the dose increased due to my fasting blood sugar readings being high. During the first 2 weeks it was going great, my diet and exercise kept my numbers where they needed to be. Then they started rising, no matter what I did my fasting was high, my numbers through out the day were higher and I had not changed a thing! I was (and still am) working my rear off to keep me and Little Sis safe. Despite my hard work I was failing. I was failing not only myself but my husband, our other children, and Little Sis because I couldn’t control my numbers. However I was forgetting the biggest lesson I will have ever learned in my life. I am not in control! I can control what I eat and drink, and how much I exercise, which yes does help. That, however, is all I have control of in this process. Matthew 6:34 urges us not to worry by stating “Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.” In fact these words are written in Red. So Jesus himself tells us not to worry.

Y’all I was being disobedient just by obsessing and worrying about the numbers I was getting. I cried all the time, I was getting angry/upset with my family faster and I was just no fun to be around. My fasting is still often high, the rest of my day is pretty well on track still, the metformin is no fun as somedays the side effects really hit me. However God is faithful and keeps his promises, and I know that just as he states in Romans 8:28 “All things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” He will use this for HIS GLORY and I am humbled yet again at learning his lesson. I am not failing anyone or at anything as long as I am working hard on the things with in my control AND giving every aspect (yes even the things I can control) to God every day!

So if you are going through something (no matter what the situation is for you) you are not failing! Smile through the tears as God counts every one of them. Get up in the morning and give it to God, trust that his timing, his life lesson, and his will is better than anything we could ever imagine. In short work hard at what God tells you to do and you will never fail anyone that matters!

Prayers and Much Love!