My Chaos… God’s Kingdom

In James chapter 1 verse 2-4 (ESV) commands us “count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.” I don’t know about you but sometimes it’s really hard to find joy in the hard things. As I sit writing this tears pour down my face, why because the season I am in is hard. As I said in a previous post my Husband and I are expecting our rainbow baby in May. Well the 15th of this month (January 2026) I failed my 1 hour glucose test (for those unfamiliar with that it tests to see if you have gestational diabetes), and what the Lord asked me to do next has been one of the hardest yes’ of my life. He asked to me to skip the 3 hour test and go straight into monitoring and gestational diabetes protocol. My OB allowed it because I had gestational diabetes with our now 3 year old.

The experience of gestational diabetes with our now 3 year old was any but pleasant. I ate right, I mean counted carbs adjusted if needed, walked every chance I could get even if it was cold. Tried everything my dietician suggested plus what others who had gone through it or were educated on it as well. I kept most of my numbers down, but my fasting (first thing in the morning) was always high. The dietician I had was so mean about it and constantly made me feel like a failure. So being asked to give up the one chance for my body to correct this so I didn’t have to go through it again was beyond hard for me. However I obeyed and started the hard work of adjusting my diet even tighter than I was already watching it. I thought it was hard the first time, try adding a dairy intolerance to the mix. All my cheese, cream cheese, sour cream, all seem to have higher carb counts. So it lessens the alternatives I can use. I am learning to like the texture of almond flour baked goods so that I can share in some simple pleasures along side my children.

While I am learning this all over again my Husband and children and even friends have listened to me cry, be frustrated, and be thankful that God is still on the throne. I know him asking me to walk through this “fire” is for a reason, while I don’t know the reason or understand it yet I will. In the meantime I will be thankful that God is in control and he never wastes ANYTHING! I will look to his word for my faith and prayer for my strength. Brave, I will continue to be brave, against the lies of the enemy. Fear of failure is something I carried for way too many years. That demon still likes to show up and torment me for fun. However “…greater is he that is in me than he that is in the World” 1 John 4:4.

No matter the fire you are walking through, no matter what the season brings you ARE a child of God, you ARE loved, you ARE safe, you ARE seen. God won’t leave you, even if he is silent he is walking with you! Remember that the word says in Romans 12:12 (ESV) “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” God hears you, there is hope, and no storm can last forever my friend. We can be brave together one day at a time, one moment at a time, whatever it takes to get you to the other side!

Much Love, Stacie