My Chaos… God’s Kingdom

So with a title like this I feel that a little bit of a back story is in order. In July we moved our family from Kansas to Nebraska. This was a moved based out of obedience and stepping out in Faith. We quickly fell in love with our new home, church, and community. While we miss our family and friends from Kansas there is no doubt in my mind that God wanted this. And there starts our journey to this story.

Right after moving came the the task of unpacking and setting up our home (we still aren’t done yet). Then preparations for my first Nebraska Women’s Encounter as a server. This one would be different than any I have ever attended before. I was able to walk in the gift that God has given me. It was amazing to watch as God worked. During the time of preparations and during Encounter it was clear that there was something I wasn’t allowing God to do. So I put it in God’s hands, and then came healing and a change of heart. This change would open so many doors. Some of which are quite hard.

A few weeks after returning from Encounter we found out that I was pregnant. This is what I had put in God’s hands and had a change of heart on. I was so excited, being a Mom has been the hardest and most rewarding Ministry ever! Danyal was so excited and so ready to tell the baby all he knew about God. He would hug and kiss the baby daily. Rainee would touch my belly and say baby, until she didn’t.

We had some signs that something was not right, then came the first of many sonograms. They could not find the baby, but there was what looked like an amniotic sac visible. We had sano after sano until what looked like the amniotic sac was no longer visible. This was the day that we were told I had a miscarriage. However despite this news I couldn’t cry. It was like my heart knew something my brain didn’t. Two weeks from then something happened that would forever change our lives.

The Lord sent me down this “rabbit hole” into Isaiah 43:1-7 highlighting verse 2 (ESV) “When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you.” As I dove deeper into these 7 verses I was sent to King David’s Psalms, which usually bring comfort because of the call to God they contain. Then I was sent to a particular story dealing with fire in Daniel. You remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego from Daniel 3? If you don’t they were thrown into a fiery furnace because they refused to bow and worship idols. However they weren’t in there alone. There was another in the fire with them. Daniel 3:25 described the appearance of the fourth as “like a son of the gods”

They walked through literal fire and didn’t get burned, the flames roared around them but didn’t consume them! This was God’s way of preparing my heart for what was to come.

The whole week before Christmas (2024) I was in pain, but my Mom and I figured that it was just “normal” after miscarriage cramping feeling. However we were both wrong. That Saturday night I sat down at my sewing machine to work on one of Rainee’s gifts and a searing pain from my right side just hit. I couldn’t sit down or walk well. So Derek took me to the ER. We are going to skip a few things just because this is already so long.

What came next seems so surreal, things you only hear about happening but think will never happen to you. After many tests, bing in absolutely horrifying pain I was given 2 units of blood and rushed to surgery. You see that pain wasn’t cramping it was my baby girl growing too big for my fallopian tube. Yep I had a tubal pregnancy that resulted in my right fallopian tube rupturing (the cause of all that pain). The surgery literally saved my life, and resulted in the removal of my right fallopian tube. One different choice could have resulted in my husband being a widower and my children growing up without Mommy.

While I don’t discount how very blessed I am that God saved my life it isn’t what I want to choose to focus on. He saved me for a reason and I can’t wait to watch it unfold this year. There has been a verse that has been ever present for the last month or so. So I will leave it for you below.

When God calls this year don’t wait, you may not get another chance to give glory to His Kingdom!!!!