My Chaos… God’s Kingdom

How many of you have ever sat in quiet and the lies of the enemy are just screaming in your ear? The lies that say you’re not good, you aren’t enough, you can’t do it good enough, you can’t give them what they need, how can God use such broken vessel?

Well my sweet friend you are not alone. Five short weeks ago we welcomed our youngest baby (for those that don’t know this is our 5th kiddo, we have one adult son, an 8yo, 3yo, and now the 1 month old at home and one in heaven) and man has this been the hardest transition yet. I felt so alone, so broken down by this being so hard. I mean after all I have the best helper (Holy Spirit) ever right? However it’s been hard to hear him over the constant fighting (and only sometimes over who is helping with the baby), crying (and not just the babies), laundry piles, dishes in the sink, and the ever growing list of requests for snacks from the kids. With the sleep deprivation and wackadoodle hormones I have found it hard to maintain my self control and kindness. Not because I don’t want to, not because I’m not thankful for what God has given us. I want my kids to see Jesus in me and the way that I handle every situation, however the enemy is using my lack of sleep to slip in and wreak his havoc. Which then leads to “Mom Guilt” and the enemy saying I’m the worst Mom in the world (especially when my 8yo screams “I hate you” because you are making him do his chores), which takes me a minute to realize the stinking thinking because I’m almost in auto pilot. It seems like the crazy will never end! So what can I do?

Well, I have continued to attend bible study (thankfully all the ladies in the 2 studies I’m in are game for JJ coming with since I’m the source of food), and started a new one with some other Mom’s. The new one is “Gospel Mom” By Emily A. Jensen and Laura Wifler, and we are doing the workbook with it (Becoming a Gospel Mom) and I have never felt so “seen”. Don’t misunderstand I know God sees me, after all he is El Roi. I also know that all of these Mamas have struggles and sin as well. However being able to talk about the struggles, being able to connect and pray for them has helped me remember that we never walk alone even if we are unaware of it, some one is struggling with it too. That struggle may not look the same but it’s still there. I hear from the Lord a lot through music. So I want to share some songs that have really helped me this week. Maybe they will help you too!!

This first one is from a sweet friend of mine, this song has carried the presence of the Lord into my house a lot lately. You’re the Father’s Pleasure– Anthony Turner. You are God’s pleasure and don’t forget it!
OKAY!– Forrest Frank
He Is– Crowder
Still Waters– Leanna Crawford
You Are I Am– Sanctus Real

Now these are just a few of them, so feel free you check out my Spotify. I mostly listen to lists others make or radios but here are all the things! https://open.spotify.com/user/stacie.glessner?si=e97f8182e38e453d

Have a great weekend Wildflowers and remember that No matter what the enemy says the Lord is good and wants good things for you! Don’t be afraid to reach out to someone, it might surprise you how seen you are!

Much Love Stacie